What am I to do?

I am in the throes of intensive job-searching - with fall coming up quickly and no employment secured yet, I am exploring all possibilities and pulling out all the stops. It's rather stressful.

In moving to Harrisburg in June, I viewed this summer as a sorely-needed break - I did not want to jump into full-time employment after juggling too many commitments for too long. And for the most part it has been just that - doing nannying two days a week and enjoying the freedom of choosing what to do with the rest of my time. But in the past few weeks I have begun to feel restless - I'm ready to be doing something different now. Although there is value in dipping my toes into many different pools, you cannot make as much of a ripple that way. And as I've been doing bits of many different things, I have been feeling unfocused and ineffective.

The irony is that earlier this summer I was concerned that I had become lazy - I was so enjoying my "time off" that I dreaded the idea of full-time employment again. But now I see that there was nothing to fear - I needed a break, but now I am ready for the next challenge to sink my teeth into.

I long for meaningful work - something that I can throw myself into that allows me to work for the things that I am passionate about and effectively use the gifts and skills that I have to offer. There is so much that I want to do, to change, if only I am given the opportunities!

Yet for now I must continue the search - despite my frustrations - while practicing patience and trust. I know that God has placed me here in Harrisburg for a specific purpose, and I know that He has a plan. He did not give me these passions and gifts for nothing - He will use me. I just need to be content with His timetable, not mine...