God rest us.
Rest the part of us which is tired.
Awaken the part of us which is asleep.
God awaken us and awake within us.
Amen.
I had a realization - I'm afraid that I've gotten too comfortable. Too comfortable with my job, my schedule, my life. Although there are so many good things about my life right now, I don't want to be satisfied with where I am. I feel like I've gotten so used to my everyday routine that I've become disconnected from some of the bigger, important things in life.
Urban housing & development, cycles of poverty and how to create & sustain jobs, gender issues and discrimination against women, hospitality & what it means to reach out to neighbors - so many things! There's this whole part of myself that cares so much about these things, but lately it's been so easy for them to get lost in the daily shuffle. I feel like I don't have the time or mental energy to engage them, but I don't want to lose sight of them because they're really at the core of who I am - and who I want to become. I want to truly engage in learning about and acting on these things that are so important to me.
Hand-in-hand with engaging these societal issues and problems is engaging with people, reaching out to the poor and marginalized, the broken and lonely. Sadly, I think I've kind of gotten used to not making as much of an effort. I have my volunteer times built into my schedule, but haven't allowed much space for being open to people I pass on the streets and what they might need at that moment. I've been reminded again of this radical lifestyle of reaching out and loving people that I used to want, and still do want, but seem to have fallen short of. It's not easy for me to reach out to strangers and get to know people - but following Jesus isn't supposed to be easy or natural or comfortable - just the opposite. I know that God wants to stretch me and push me out of my comfort zone, and I'm afraid to, but also afraid not to.
I want to strive again for this radical way of living, confronting these problems head-on and being part of the solutions, and above all loving people.
I want to be more intentional about hospitality and getting to know our neighbors;
I want to be more open to people as I walk the streets, and ready to help someone in need;
I want to be more connected to the things happening in the neighborhood and the city;
I want to learn more about the issues at play.
I want to dream again, and take small steps towards those dreams.
These are the desires of my heart. My prayer is that I will live in such a way that I am more faithful to them.
Living radically seems hard when it's done in small ways everyday on top of other demands. It doesn't feel like enough, and it's easy to get discouraged. It's also easy to forgot how important all of these things are. But people help me to remember, and dream with me and challenge me and encourage me. They remind me, too, that it all comes back to God and to love - without which we can do nothing. I feel like I am coming back to that.
And my song right now is Sara Groves' "Add to the Beauty":
We come with beautiful secrets
We come with purposes written on our hearts, written on our souls
We come to every new morning
With possibilities only we can hold, that only we can hold
Redemption comes in strange place, small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are
And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside
It comes in small inspirations
It brings redemption to life and work
To our lives and our work
It comes in loving community
It comes in helping a soul find it's worth
This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful
This is grace, an invitation.
