I do not often get stressed out these days, but lately I have been - by time. Suddenly there seemed to be a million things to do and people to see, and I found myself in a whirlwind of busyness that was of my making - but that left me frazzled and drained. I don't regret any of the things I did, but it's not a pace of life that I want to sustain. Rather, I deeply value the importance of rest and reflection, being fully present and allowing space for interruptions - and I want these to mark the rhythms of my life.
Time is finite, and I need to be ok with that - while also making the time that I do have count. I need to see it more and more as a gift, an opportunity, rather than merely a block on my calendar. I want how I use my time to reflect my highest values, rather than my weakest impulses. I am called to love with abandon the people God has placed me with, and to be faithful to the commitments I have made. Neither of these things are always easy - in fact, they're sometimes very hard. But with a generous portion of God's grace, I pray that I can.
One of the scary things about time is that it is so fleeting - and we can never get it back. Perhaps it's become more precious to me as I've been saying goodbyes lately - and as I prepare for more goodbyes and big changes in the lives of my closest friends.
It's funny, as I find myself again in the role of being a point of sending and return. There aren't only sad goodbyes, but also joyful returns, and for that I am grateful. And despite the pain of friends journeying onto new adventures without me, something in this role feels good too. I like being a settled, stable point for people when so much is changing, and it almost feels like an honor to support them and send them off to the great things God is calling them to. But I will need plenty of grace for those days too.
For now, my prayer is that I can love people like there's no tomorrow, not leaving important things unsaid - because life is too short, and we don't know how much time we've got until it's gone.
