The end is near...

One week from today I will graduate - it's still hard to believe how fast these four years have gone by. But I am ready - these last few weeks have been really stressful in terms of schoolwork and Agape work, and as much as I've valued my time here, I am so ready to be done.

So ready to cease this lifestyle of a student being constantly pulled in so many directions. So ready to leave an atmosphere where I am held to and judged by standards that I don't necessarily agree with. So ready to embrace a lifestyle of my own choosing, and practice more fully the values that are important to me.

It is at times like this that I really question why higher education does this to students - this imposition of impossible standards, this encouragement towards leadership and extracurricular activities that make balance so difficult. Where is the value in rest, in reflection, in rejuvenating time with people? It seems these are the things that I constantly have to fight for to remain in my schedule.

Recently I have not fought to keep rest, reflection, and friends in my schedule amidst all of the stress, and I have felt the effects of it. All day today I have been trying to work on my internship portfolio, something that shouldn't be too hard, but have failed miserably. I felt like I could not do anything - the drive to finish was gone, leaving me tired and unmotivated. Yet there was still so much to do, and it was overwhelming.

But then I took a break - ate supper outside with housemates and friends, took pictures, turned cartwheels, and laughed a lot! It was just what I needed - some time to get away from all of my work and thoughts about work, and enjoy these silly moments with people dear to me. How many times do I have to learn this lesson, that pushing myself to work constantly only results in frustration? That without rest and reflection and fun, I cannot do my work well? This is what I have been reminded of tonight - and I am grateful for my wonderful housemates, who put up with my frustration, encourage me to keep going, and pull me away for a picnic :) I am learning so much from them everyday...